Chapter 29: Drano (9/15)
As the Hair Thins...
Speaking of Travis, I feel like I need to point out that this is not a poorly run organization, by any means. It is not as if we are not anticipating these trends as much as the trends are wildly unpredictable, and, as a result the supply lines flex or starve.
And for sure we, and many other hardware stores around the country, are having banner sales year. Because we were deemed “essential” by the health authorities.
And also, my store is small for a hardware store.
We typically only need one or maybe two employees on site, and our stock on the floor is the stock we have—there is no backroom for storage.
For example, one thing that we have never had enough stock of, really, this whole entire time, is … Drano.
With the gyms still closed (for some impossibly deluded reason), people have taken to working out in their apartments/pods. These Millennials have to keep up their appearance, as hook-up culture power-drives their nightlife, so typically they’re showering at least twice a day (sometimes three or four, especially if they woke up with a stranger and covered in sick).
And of course it’s not just Drano, but all that comes with that: plungers, drain lids, and plenty of showering cleaning supplies. For after-party clean up, you see.
I’m sure if we stocked Pedialyte we’d sell out of that, too.
Another reason we couldn’t keep Drano in stock was because (mostly, mainly) women (and some men) were losing their hair.
When you (are forced to) wear a mask, you lose your hair.
The mask restricts the flow of oxygen to your bloodstream and, as a result, your blood thins. When your blood thins, your hair thins as it’s much harder for your body to fill the follicles on your head.
I would say this and people would scoff (from behind their mask and underneath a balding hairline). In fact, I would post this sort of common sense throughout COVID and people would deny it (science deniers, you might even say).
But even so, as I was forced to wear a mask, I could feel it myself, as my own hair was thinning. And I’ll always take self-presented evidence over any other.
Next week, we sell out of folding backyard tables, and the reason will shock you.
Addendum: In my ever-increasing desperation to leave the city, a woke acquaintance of mine suggested to another that: “If he really” *seething* “likes Trump now … he should move to Tulsa.”
I thought that was interesting…