(To best experience the Invent-Ory start at chapter 1 and go forward through time)
The trek from St. Louis to Tulsa takes you right through the heart of the Ozarks and, while I haven’t been there since I was a very young child—It is beautiful.
You can understand why the people of Missouri have such a BASED outlook on life. There is no shortage of adventure to be had: from cave-diving to fishing to climbing to God knows what else.
It’s like one outdoor playground and, as Phil Robertson likes to say:
“You can’t sin in the woods.”
Turns out we were on Route 66 and one of the more famous stops on this trail is the Uranus Fudge Factory (yes, really) and sure enough the billboards start to pop up every 15 miles or so: “100 Miles to Uranus” … “50 miles to Uranus,” … “Get ready to probe Uranus!” etc. It’s totally outrageous, and most importantly--would have been canceled years ago in the land we were coming from and, yes, it was,
absolutely hilarious.
In addition to the signs for the Uranus Fudge Factory, there are dueling signs for various caves in the area of which there are a great many.
(In my notes here it just says: “Crosses, churches”)
Soon enough we are on Will Rogers Turnpike and have officially arrived in Oklahoma. Immediately a radio station called Big Country 99.5 comes into range and we flip it on and turn it up.
It just so happens to be the 5pm after-work request-line drive-time with some kid named Tanner and every. Song. The. People. Request. Is. A. Favorite. Of. Mine. I mean every single one.
I’m home.
As “Next to You, Next to Me” comes on, I can’t help but think it is about Jared and I and we sing along.
Of course there are no masks. ANYWHERE. Just good people doing work. Working hard, farming, ranching, raising cattle, butchering etc. Lots of American flags but also LOTS of tribal flags as well. (And of course LOTS of Trump 2020 flags).
We loaded into the rental house, which is also beautiful, and on a little quiet and safe street. In the distance you can hear a large fountain gurgling (from the nearby retirement community) and, as the agent told me, it has incredible privacy. I was so pleased with it.
We wanted to go somewhere and rest, so we rented a hotel room downtown. When we get there and walk in--
there are children EVERY-WHERE.
And not just children, but little redneck rugrats, complete with NASCAR shirts and mullets, southern drawls and rat-tails…
It was awesome.
We went out on the town (in the famous “Blue Dome District”) and nary a social distance was found. People were dancing, clapping along to music, and simply enjoying a night on the town in packed places packed with people.
It was the complete opposite vibe we had months ago biking behind the “Iron Curtain” of Somerville, Massachusetts.
(And come to think of it, no one was sleeping with each other’s boyfriend or going home to a polyamorous household, either).
Tomorrow, we click our heels and finally go home.
Addendum: Let’s see how things are going back in Boston.
Oh.